Blog Posts

One Year.

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One year.

365 days. 

So much can change. 

A human can be conceived, grown and birthed. A whole new life entwined forever with a family in less than a year! 

New jobs, new homes, new milestones, new losses. So many moments in just one year. 

But what about the year where everything and nothing happened all at once? 

Where events and moments were postponed so many times that eventually they were simply cancelled altogether. Families and friends kept apart. Lives adapted and molded to fit many different needs. Lives lost. 

Too. Many. Lives. Lost. 

Sure our family has had our changes too, a new home, a new business venture, the start of homeschooling. And yet, it feels like this year has flown by in it’s stagnant limbo. Whisking us away and at the same time forcing us to repeat the nightmare that is life in a global pandemic day after day. 

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The mind is a funny thing, making us feel like the world stopped spinning just yesterday while also making us question exactly what normal life was like? Like an alternate reality we look back at memories and reminisce about how it felt to be at crowded functions with loved ones without a second thought. Did we really appreciate those moments for what they were? Did we truly value them? A year later and we are still left processing the surreal nature of watching the tsunami coming at our lives with little power to stop it. 

There are plenty of families who have shifted, adapted, and who continue to go about their lives with minimal interruption but what about the families left behind on the side lines? The ones, who like us, are forced to watch the world start it’s wobbly rotations again but who can’t quite be a part of it. The ones who scroll social media, watching friends take steps back into the world and wishing more than anything that they could safely do the same. The ones who’s fear of missing out pulls at the corners of their minds, stacking doubt upon doubt. Am I crazy? Am I hysterical? Am I making the right choice for myself? For my family? For my children? For my neighbors? No longer the loudest voices, so now somehow forgotten amidst the clamor for normalcy. 

This year everything stopped and yet everything has changed: relationships, family dynamics, hobbies, jobs, lives. The word “essential” has taken on a new weight and our debt to these front line workers can never be repaid. For many of these heroes, life has been altered beyond recognition as they live separately from their children and loved ones to protect those they hold dearest from potential exposure. For far too many people, loved ones have been lost. The catastrophic, life altering events of this year cannot and should not be diminished. 

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But what if we learn from this year? While holding those who have suffered loss close, honoring their experiences, and mourning their loved ones, what if we also choose to see what has been learned, no matter how small? What if we place value on the relationships that have stood the test of isolation and those who found ways to show up even when they couldn’t really show up? What if we focus on those silver linings no matter how faint to just pull us through to tomorrow.

For our family, that means appreciating the ability to slow down. To appreciate not being pulled in different directions, with distraction filled schedules jam packed until we barely see each other. To have three meals a day as a family. Movie nights, game nights and so many small moments in between. 

I’ve held my crying kids countless nights asking when they can see friends and family or questioning if life will ever be normal again. Little voices asking questions prefaced by “after COVID can we…?” echo through our house like a skipping record. But I hope that when we look back, when my kids look back, they will know we did our best to follow scientific guidelines and the advice of those who know so much more than we do. They will know that we made the decisions that we felt were in their best interests at the time. That there was no handbook for parenting (or simply living) during a pandemic. That we chose not to live in fear, but instead in knowledge and love.

That we are human. 

I hope that they look back on these days and weeks with an appreciation for what we did have instead of being filled with sadness for what was missing. That car horns and traffic remind them of car parade celebrations for birthdays that had to be adapted. That they are filled with warmth when they think of the many movie nights curled up together on the couch. That they remember their full bellies stuffed with goodies made together in the kitchen. That they remember having freedom to explore interests and adventures right here at home with those who love them most while we experimented (and fell in love with!) a whole new approach to education as a family. That they remember and value the PRIVILEGE we had in our ability to stay safe and isolated, at home, together, while many others were not afforded this same luxury.

But most of all, I hope that they will look back and know what it means to sacrifice for others. Not just for members of their own family and those they hold dear, but for the members of families they do not know. That they will look back and know that even at such a young age, they made sacrifices for the good of their fellow human. A truly difficult lesson to instill under normal circumstances!

Whatever that sacrifice looks like for you, for your family, for your kids…we have all had a year and it is time to give each other and ourselves the grace we so desperately deserve. 

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To the mom seeking a diagnosis for her child

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You stand on the edge of an ocean of uncertainty. The hot sun of anxiety and fear beating down on you. The cold water is refreshing but a shock to your system. As you look out at the water you can’t be sure if the next wave coming in will wash over you like a breath of fresh air, a welcomed relief from the heat or will it knock you down? Will it pull you under and break you? Or just toss you around and spit you back out as a stronger more confident and knowledgeable swimmer? Will it wash up the shore to consume your child? Or will it be just enough to alert help and send reinforcements?

Of course, the type of diagnosis you are seeking will play a roll in the size and intensity of the wave. But no matter what is happening with your child, the unknown of the wave is there. My son has taught me what a strong swimmer I am. I’m a fighter. An advocate. We have had scary diagnoses placed on the table as possibilities. We have seen many doctors and specialists. I’ve held him through countless blood draws, x-rays and testing. So many unknowns remain for our little man and there is sure to be more testing in his future.

I remember the day he received his FPIES (food protein-induced enterocolitis syndrome) diagnosis. I will never forget the details right down to what I was wearing. At first, it was refreshing. Thank God I wasn’t crazy! His bizarre symptoms had an explanation! We finally have a label. I could research and plan. Then the wave pulled me under. Sucked into the pits of Google researching and researching; driving myself crazy to try to make myself the new FPIES expert. Finally, I was spat out. My head broke the surface and I gasped for air. One step led to another and then onto another, and soon I was able to find specialists for his rare disease. The pieces came together. I was able to better formulate a plan for moving forward and take peace in the fact that the scarier diagnoses had been ruled out for the time being.

Not everything goes according to plan. Unfortunately, this process is a cycle. My own demons of anxiety and postpartum depression ally themselves with normal mom fear and create a terrifying all-consuming monster. Each time a new diagnosis is brought up as a potential culprit I have to fight not to be consumed by the undercurrent. I do my best to swim parallel to the shore….toeing the fine line of being prepared for anything and paranoid of everything.  I’m sure you know how researching medical conditions can be online, try mixing in some medical anomalies and it can feel like being sucked into the undertow.

Sound familiar momma? Just know this: it will be OKAY.

YOU know your child best.

YOU will always be their best advocate.

ALWAYS trust your gut.

Document everything and don’t stop until you have answers. Feeling crazy? Wondering if you are good enough? I can tell you, if you are worried about being good enough and capable enough to manage your child’s care, then you are already doing an amazing job.

Keep your head above that water. Take care of yourself even when it feels like there is no time left in the day. But most of all, enjoy your child. Whatever their diagnosis is, don’t let it consume them. Don’t let it become their identity. It may be a large part of their life but it is not WHO they are. This is harder than it seems when you are constantly documenting, scheduling and traveling to specialists. But momma…

Notice their unique personality.

Notice their talents, strengths, fears and what makes them let out those irresistible belly laughs.

Notice THEM.

When the world wants that diagnosis to put them in a box and define them, fight to make the world see them for who they are as the incredible tiny human you know them to be.

YOU are their advocate.

YOU are their life jacket, warrior, peace, strength and joy all rolled into one rock-star mom.

You can’t support them if you don’t support you.

Ask for help.

VENT.

Find your tribe, your village, your people and lean on them. Online support groups can be absolutely incredible!

VENT.

VENT some more.

You will get through this wave. There may be more coming but they won’t pull you under. You’ve got this!

To follow our little man’s story check out his Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Living-La-Vida-Lucca-2369903016563479/

I don’t want a fighter.

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I don’t want a fighter. 

I don’t want a warrior. 

I don’t want him to be strong. 

I don’t want him to be brave. 

I don’t want him to be tough. 

I just want him to be little. 

Despite the best of intentions, and my own FREQUENT use of these words…I don’t want my medically fragile child described as any of them. 

I just want him to be little, and to enjoy that littleness. 

I want him to grow up with the innocence that comes from a healthy, carefree, unrestricted childhood. 

I don’t want that childhood spent inside the walls of hospitals, doctors offices, and therapies. 

I don’t want that childhood spent getting tests done, blood drawn and IVs placed. 

I don’t want his memory of my arms to be as restraints for testing and needles. A restraint he tries desperately to escape from. 

I want him to remember the comfort and love he felt when I held him. I want him to seek out my arms to embrace him and take the pain and fears away. I want to be his safe place. 

I want him to laugh and run at playgroup without fear of foods or germs that will land him in the hospital.

I want to enjoy the highs without feeling like the lows are coming with fury to knock us off course. 

I want to enjoy each season as it comes without anxiously awaiting to see what the next one will bring. 

Yes, I know.

He IS tough. He IS a little warrior. He IS brave. I know that I describe him as such…but I’ve come to hate these words. 

Maybe it’s the week spent in and out of hospitals watching our sweet boy so sick that he couldn’t hold his head up. Watching him so drained of strength that he could no longer fight the blood draws and IVs. Maybe it’s this new perspective or maybe it’s bitterness. 

But when I heard these adjectives by well meaning loved ones and nurses, I started to cringe. Each time I began to feel like I was being punched in the gut by an unseen enemy. 

You see, when we saw those two lines come up on that test, when we saw blue at our gender reveal, when we heard that first cry…this was not the life we envisioned. 

When we describe him as tough or a warrior or a fighter…we are feeding into letting his diagnosis define him. I’m making a vow now to change that. 

Instead, I want the focus to be on just how funny, silly, bright, caring, mischievous, loving, curious, outgoing, determined, social, beautiful, talented, cautious, sweet, empathetic, strong willed, sensitive, happy, persistent, observant and absolutely perfect he is. 

And if we must use those words, let it be just one, in the long list of other adjectives we use.

Follow our amazing little man’s journey on his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Living-La-Vida-Lucca-2369903016563479/

The First Step In Letting Go

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I know that in raising our children, the final goal is for them to be kind, contributing, functioning members of society. 

Our goal is for them to fly high above the nest, leaving us behind. 

We want them to soar higher than we ever could. 

We want them to travel further, leaving our nest empty with only the memories of childhood behind. 

But I’m not ready yet. 

I can’t help but feel like these 5 years have gone by far too quickly and I cannot seem to wrap my head around this first step of letting you go. 

Of watching you board the big yellow bus with a massive backpack on your small frame. 

Of having you be gone all day, with no way to know if you are okay. 

Are you making friends? 

Will you get lost?

Do you like your teacher? 

Does she know that sometimes you really need a hug to ease your anxiety? 

Can they understand you even though you swap your “R’s” for “W’s”? 

Do they see the worry in your eyes if a friend is upset? 

Do they see how you fidget with your hands when you are anxious? 

Do they know just how much you want to please everyone around you? How being a perfectionist makes you so anxious to fail, that sometimes you want to quit before trying? 

Are you ready to test your wings as you become a little less mine and a little more a citizen of the world?

The questions swirl in my head, as I ease your anxiety I am overcome with my own. Are you truly ready? Did we prepare you for everything you will face now that we aren’t there to shield you from the harshness of the world around you? 

I know Kindergarten is just one step. One very small step. 

I know that we will have more first days of school. More milestones. A lifetime of memories to savor. 

But this one feels big. 

I watch you as your eyes flutter to sleep and you rest your head on my chest. I know you need that closeness to sleep. I know that you need my voice, singing your favorite lullaby, to drift off. I know that you need snuggles during the day to help you regulate. 

I am your safe space. 

I am grateful these last 5 years were spent mostly home with you. Am I ready to hand those precious hours, minutes…seconds over? Are you ready for those precious years to be behind us? Are we ready to only catch glimpses of our times together on school breaks and weekends? 

When I put my own feelings aside, I know you are ready. You are ready to take the first step in the journey of finding your place in the world. 

You are a little less mine. 

As you soar high above to reach your dreams, never forget your nest is waiting. We are watching, praying, hoping and cheering you on. 

You soar high my sweet girl, just remember we are always here to catch you.

Allergy Friendly Activities: Part 2

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And just like that, summer is almost over. 

Back to school shopping has begun. 

Teacher assignments and supply lists have hit our mailbox.

Open houses are scheduled. 

The final countdown has begun. 

Our big girl is headed to her last year before middle school and our middle one is kindergarten bound…this momma is an emotional wreck!

Over the course of the summer, L (and his sisters) have kept us on our toes with medical issues but luckily, everyone is fine! As we have come to terms with apparent heat/humidity issues with L, we have begun to experiment a bit and find out EXACTLY what triggers him. 

It seems like direct sunlight and humidity automatically make things worse, but if we can stay relatively shaded in low humidity weather, he seems to be able to tolerate temperatures as high as 80 degrees. 

Although this has given us more freedom, we are still pretty limited on hot summer days which gave us LOTS of time to experiment and find some new ideas for our second part of our allergy-friendly toddler activities series! 

1) Feed the Monster! 

This one was super fun for L and I think it will be pretty durable and versatile! I took a box we had lying around and covered it in colorful duct tape, drew eyes and cut a slit for the mouth. We had tons of infant face cloths that we never used so I stuffed them in and let L go to town pulling them out and stuffing them back in! Although he didn’t find it quite as appealing as a free for all with a box of tissues or package of baby wipes, it did entertain him for a bit and was a great fine motor activity! I’m sure we will use this with lots of other items as well! 

2) Up-cycled Formula Cans!

If you are anything like us, you have tons of empty containers lying around! For us, this means L’s formula! If you don’t use formula try washing out a safe food container or even simple plastic containers from the dollar store if you are worried about cross contamination! I filled them with various items so they were different weight/made different sounds when shaken and then wrapped each can entirely in colored duct tape. Although I *DID* use food ingredients as some fillers, they are completely sealed inside with no way for him to access them and it’s totally optional to do it this way! We used plastic formula scoops, rice, lentils, pasta, legos, and plastic container lids. Take a look around your house and see what you can scrounge up! L has loved lining them up, flipping them to see the silver bottoms, stacking them like blocks, rolling them, banging them like drums, shaking them and we have even started using them to match/learn colors! 
Endless possibilities!! 

3) Open and Shut Sensory Board!

I hate all the plastic we go through so I think that was part of my inspiration for this series! I was super excited to come up with this one using wipe package tops, scraps of things from around the house, hot glue and a wooden tray we had leftover from a toy. Any piece of cardboard would work as a backing too! All I did was glue my tops to the backing and then hot glue small items inside. SUPER simple and this one was surprisingly L’s favorite!! Anything small that could fit inside and have the lids still close will work well. So many possibilities with this and it makes a great travel activity/busy board! You could tweak this activity to include pictures of family members, animals, numbers, letters, matching, colors, etc. I have a feeling this will be a go-to for lots of our learning activities around here! 

I’m excited to see what we can come up with for the last few activities in the third part of our series so make sure you subscribe so you don’t miss it! 

Get Yourself A Mom Friend.

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Do yourself a favor, get yourself a mom friend.

One who shows up in sweat pants and lets her kids run wild with yours.

Who disciplines and loves your child like her own.

Who you can freely vent and brag about your children to in a single breathe, and responds by telling you what amazingly special little jerks they are. 

Who listens with no judgment.

Who doesn’t show up expecting your house to be clean, but instead shows up with coffee in hand and daydreams about wine while your gremlins drive you both nuts. 

Who you can laugh as hard as you cry with. 

Who knows when you need coffee and when wine and chocolate is more appropriate. 

Who doesn’t knock, or even call, when she comes over. And who always raids your fridge when she gets there. 

Who you know is there, 24/7 no matter what; just a phone call away.

This week was draining. It was exhausting as we ended up at the pediatrician four different times and the ER once. I was spiraling; fighting not to get sucked back into the black hole of depression. I never said it, but she knew. 

We had these plans written in our calendars for weeks, both of us knowing that if we didn’t write a date in stone, that the plans wouldn’t happen. No cancellations, no excuses, no exceptions; no matter what, we had plans. Otherwise, life would get in the way, it always does when you’re a parent. When the day came, we attempted a lunch out with all five kids. HA. We quickly realized that a free for all play date was a much better option and our sanity thanked us!

I don’t know if she realized just how much I needed to just be. To just let the kids run and fight and play and laugh like siblings while we just chilled on the couch, scrolling through our phones and zone parenting the littlest two of our minions. 

I’m not sure if she knows how much not having to do anything, or be anything, means to me.

Sure getting the kids together can add stress from chaos, but getting them all together also brings me peace. There is no expectation for our time together.  When we are together, there is no my kids and your kids; all five of our tiny humans are OURS. 

We’ve learned that big day trips aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. That sometimes, instead of a $100 trip to the zoo, a movie night with pizza, junk food, PJs and lots of blankets on the floor is much more fun! 

We’ve learned that fights make us stronger. We can disagree on anything including parenting but we will always respect one another and we will always expect our crew of minions to show that same respect. Raising each other up instead of tearing each other down, no matter what. 

We’ve learned that each of our kids has unique needs. Be it allergies, medical issues, schedules, behavioral issues etc. and we find ways to cope with all of them at once. 

Her support through little L’s journey is just one example. She researches FPIES and works to keep him safe as much as I do. The amount of stress  that is lifted off of my shoulders when we are together is insane. 

We all need a village. 

Parenting is hard. 

Raising tiny humans is hard. 

Motherhood is hard. 

Get yourself a mom friend. 

Share with the mom friend you value in your life!

To the husband who does it all.

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I see you. 

I see you struggling to get out of bed, exhausted from a night of being up scaring away monsters and making bottles as much as I was.

I see you getting up before the rest of us, quietly sneaking out in the dark and heading to work. 

I see you stopping at the store on your way home to save me a trip out of the house with all three kids. 

I see you racing home to help with after school extracurriculars. 

I see you coming home and changing out of your work clothes, but you aren’t done working. You trade your white-collar clothes for blue-collar clothes as you switch from a desk job to home renovations. 

I see you doing dishes, laundry, cooking, and parenting. 

I see you finally sitting down after the kids are wrestled into bed. 

I see you with your laptop, working on getting our businesses up and running, working on making our dreams come true. 

I see you up until midnight, always working on something, just to be up early and starting all over again. 

I may not always thank you. In fact, I KNOW I don’t thank you enough. You make sure we all have everything we could ever want and need. You make sure that medical bills and insurance companies are dealt with. You make sure we never have to sacrifice despite being a one-income household. You sacrifice so that I can be home savoring every moment with these beautiful little monsters who threaten to steal my sanity. 

You are the one who greases all of the gears to help our household run smoothly. 

You have proven what being a true partner means. We’ve been through a lot, and most recently that meant a very difficult pregnancy, postpartum depression, and now a medically complex child. Somehow, despite wearing so many different hats, you always manage to be my biggest supporter all while never missing a specialist appointment, parent teacher conference or school event.

You do all of the heavy lifting. 

I know you don’t ask for praise. You don’t want the recognition. This is just who you are. You will always put your family above all else. You will always put our happiness above your own. You are the embodiment of hard work, perseverance, determination, strength, and intelligence for our children. Pushing all three of them to be the very best versions of themselves and to find their passions, all while you lead by example. 

I’m often overwhelmed by the time you get home. Feeling like I spun my wheels all day. Home with three minions, but yet nothing seems accomplished. 

You walk in the door and you just get it. 

Somehow, the dishes piled in the sink that I haven’t gotten to?  They are done before bed. Thank you. 

The laundry I forgot to swap? You swapped it and started the next load. Thank you. 

The 5-year old I cannot get to sleep? She’s out cold peacefully. Thank you. 

The milk we ran out of? You ran back to the store so we would have it in time for breakfast. Thank you. 

Another diaper change? You changed it before I even noticed. Thank you. 

Baby needs another bottle and they are all dirty? You wash them all and make one before I have a chance to ask for help. Thank you. 

The trash that’s overflowing? It’s out at the curb for pick-up in the morning. Thank you. 

My list that’s pages long and feeding my anxiety? You completed tasks without me having to ask. Thank you. 

I know at the end of the day you may feel unseen, unappreciated, but I promise you’re not. Not just for the tasks you do, but for the person you are: the parent, the father, the friend, the partner. 

At the end of our crazy day, there is no one I would rather climb into bed next to, no one I would rather struggle through sleep deprivation with. I love you, and this journey of parenthood and marriage is made so much better because I am on it with you. 

Thank you.

On your 5th birthday

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Oh, sweet girl!

Yesterday I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. Yesterday we welcomed you into this world. Yesterday I held you on my chest and nursed you for the first time. I sniffed your head and breathed in your sweet newborn smell as you curled yourself perfectly into my body. Yesterday I held you while you slept and watched as your fingers curled around mine. Yesterday I willed time to slow down just slightly, or at least, for me to always remember just how tiny and new you were. To never forget what it felt like to have your little body resting so peacefully on mine. 

Today, I wake up to a five-year-old and I wonder where the time went. I blinked, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, and the baby I awaited so anxiously has transformed into an incredible tiny human. No matter how much I sought to slow down time and savor every moment, the time has passed.

Sweet girl, on your fifth birthday, I can’t help but be amazed at all of the glorious changes that have taken place in your lifetime. 

You bring sunshine, love, and laughter wherever you go. Your laugh, sass and sense of humor light up the room. You draw people of all ages to you and have had that quality since the day you were born. You feel every emotion with such intensity. Although I believe part of that comes with your age, I am sure that it is also a part of you that runs so deep, it threatens to break you in two. You feel everything right to your core, and although I worry for you at times, I know that you will do incredible things. 

I know that you will stand up for those around you because you feel their pain with every fiber of your heart.

I know that you will seek justice because you feel the suffering of injustice with every ounce of your being.

I know that you will value yourself and your strength because you feel the power that emanates from every cell of your body.

I know that you will maintain your sense of humor and magic because you thrive in every way when you can bring a smile to others. 

I know that you will be true to yourself. 

I know that no matter what life brings you, you will be okay. I know that even if you stumble, you won’t fall. 

I can’t help but be struck by how much changes in the first five years of life. From a completely dependent newborn to a more independent, strong, intelligent, creative child.

SO. MANY. FIRSTS. 

As you prepare for kindergarten and diligently practice your numbers and letters, I can’t help but see that brand new baby I brought home from the hospital. That sweet tender newborn who’s troubles melted away as you laid on my chest. I only hope, that my arms can continue to bring you comfort as you grow. 

Although life’s struggles won’t always be able to be solved quite as easily, I will savor the moments when they can. When a hug makes the nerves dissipate and climbing into bed for cuddles makes the monsters go away. 

I don’t know when the last night will be when you want a bedtime story and song before bed. I don’t know when the last morning will be when I wake to your sleepy face on the pillow next to mine. I don’t know when the last day will be when you ask me to do an art project or have a dance party.  

But I do know it will come too soon. 

I know that no matter how much I will time to slow down, no matter how much I try to savor and remember every detail, time will pass. 

I know that I will blink, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment and when I open them you will be 10….then 20…then 30. 

Before I know it you will be off to college. Off on your own. Living your dreams. Marrying and having children if that’s what you want. 

So baby girl, on your 5th birthday, I want you to know just how incredible you are. 

Your strength. Your curiosity. Your determination. Your perseverance. Your intelligence. Your worth. Your creativity. 

You. 

Be true to yourself and you will never go wrong. 

We will always be in your corner and we will always love you. 

You will always be my sunshine. 

But it’s a beautiful day.

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“What’s the weather today mom?…hot or warm?”

“Is it going to be rainy or sunny?”

“Can we go to the pool/spray park/playground/beach?” 

Would it even be summer break without a whole slew of questions before 8 am?! I swear, these girls expect me to be some sort of activity coordinator with new and exciting activities to fill every second of every day. No thank you, minions…not happening. 

In the past the solution was simple — GO OUTSIDE! 

Sending the kids out to play, spending the day in the pool or at a park. Cheap. Easy. Minimal Effort. BURNS THEIR NEVER ENDING ENERGY! Perfection. 

We have been anxiously awaiting the warm weather and have been hopeful that it would also mean the end of all sorts of nasty bugs that have kept us locked away all winter. But, what would life be without a curve-ball….especially with little L. 

Cue the apparent reactions to heat/humidity. Who knew?!?!

Now we not only have to account for food/non-food items that will cause FPIES reactions, but we also have to be aware of the heat. Rashes, breathing issues, coughing, behavior changes, GI upset…all things our little zebra has started showing symptoms of when in the heat for a few hours. It was absolutely amazing the difference in him when we finally turned on the air conditioning! No need for the nebulizer, rash almost gone, and no coughing!

So what exactly do we do to keep the Os-lings occupied this summer while attempting to limit heat and humidity exposure?! 

Like most millennial moms, I took to Pinterest for activity ideas! Finding ideas for the girls was simple…there were so many we had a hard time choosing! DONE!

However, I quickly became discouraged looking for new and interesting ideas for L. We can’t do play-doh, slime, paint, markers, chalk, etc. due to food sourced ingredients being a part of the recipes and we had to limit outdoor activities. I scrolled and although I did find ideas, it was a lot of trial and error, a lot of thinking things through and coming up with alternative approaches and substitutions. A lot of clicking on articles for “20 best activities” to find one or two before going back to my scrolling. 

Dried pasta and beans for sensory bins…nope.

Shaving cream fun…double nope. 

Corn starch in homemade chalk paint…no way.

Vinegar in science experiments…no go. 

Food coloring for colored water play…not happening. 

Playing with spice containers and small pieces…too stressful having to worry about cleaning them well! 

I realized that although L is pretty reactive and we play it safe, there were lots of other kids who were worse off. Some react to bubbles, aluminum foil, book ink and more. Before entering the terrifying world of food allergies! Did you know aluminum foil is rolled out in soy oil during production? That chalk and children’s paint may contain dairy? That markers and board book ink can contain soy? There seem to be hidden allergens all around us in forms we would never expect! As if keeping our guy safe didn’t feel stressful enough already!

So, I decided to share the list I compiled of activities for my little guy. These may be new to you or not, but they are in one place and offer fun unique “pinteresty” ideas for allergy kiddos! I know some of these materials won’t work for all allergies but it’s a start! This will be 3 parts throughout the summer, not necessarily 3 consecutive weeks, so make sure you subscribe to the blog so you don’t miss the rest! 

1) Velcro Popsicle Sticks:

I love that this one can be altered in so many ways! Matching colors, adding letters for older kiddos, or just sticking and pulling apart as L enjoyed! Super simple to do, just cut velcro pieces and stick them to the ends of the sticks (on both ends and sides).  I stuck them all together to start and he enjoyed pulling them all apart and then trying to figure out how to get them to stick back together. 

2) Laundry Basket & Tape: 

This one can easily be adapted if your kiddo can’t do tape and/or aluminum foil but for L, he needed the additional sensory component. He tends to shy away from certain textures and we are dealing with feeding aversions. Since foods are limited I try to incorporate textures in other ways whenever possible. All you need is some tape and wrap it through the holes of your laundry basket to create a web. If you’re anything like me that means dumping the clean clothes on a mountain of laundry on the couch in order to free up a basket! I used ball pit balls with some balled up aluminum foil for a new texture but anything would work! L seemed only briefly interested but my adorable goddaughter LOVED this one (shameless god mommy plug!). Try adding stuffed animals or countless other possibilities to fit your needs! 

3) Pipe-cleaners & Strainer:

I made sure to scrub the h*** out of the strainer before letting him play….but I was still a nervous wreck. He hasn’t seemed to react to small cross-contamination in the past but if your kiddo does, strainers are super cheap at a dollar store. Considering this was one of his favorite activities, I would say it’s worth it! I started with a strainer with smaller sized holes and placed all of the pipe cleaners in it myself before handing it to him.

He absolutely loved pulling them all out but it was a little too tricky for him to thread them back in so we switched to our giant pasta pot’s strainer (again SCRUBBED) which had larger holes. He is always trying to figure things out and has such intent focus on mastering new tasks so this challenge kept him busy for quite a while! 

4) Kitchen Whisk & Pom-poms:

I used a rarely used whisk that was scrubbed but I will probably buy a cheap silicone whisk for the future for L. I added small plastic party favor hopping frogs mostly out of necessity to keep the pom poms from falling out but he actually ended up enjoying those the most. They were more challenging for him to get out because the feet kept hooking on the edges. Although he liked this activity, he emptied the whisk quickly and then had little interest in it. This would probably be more entertaining for younger kiddos but I am thinking a larger silicone whisk with varying sized pom poms would be better for L. 

5) Formula Can Slots

I don’t know about you, but we always have empty formula cans lying around! I’m sure there will be more activities with these in the future! If you don’t have formula cans any plastic container or box can be used. Hands down, this was his FAVORITE! He walked around with this little can adding toys for over an hour. I started by just cutting slits in the lid and having him place popsicle sticks in. This was too easy, so we moved to pom poms which he enjoyed so much more! We also practiced taking the lid on and off (I’m sure I will regret building this skill!). He loved it so much that he carried that can around his playroom and experimented with different toys. Some fit in the slits but most didn’t and he loved the trial and error search to find things he could collect (including clumps of dog hair and dust bunnies…eek!).

I’m excited to see what other activities we can come up with for the next two parts! I’d love to hear suggestions of things you want to see adapted for your allergy kiddos too so leave a comment if you have an idea!  Don’t forget to subscribe as a follower so you don’t miss the rest of the series! 

Follow our little man’s journey on his Facebook page Living La Vida Lucca: https://www.facebook.com/Living-La-Vida-Lucca-2369903016563479/?ref=bookmarks

And all of our Os-ling adventures on Instagram @Osling_chronicles

I Choose Joy.

carinaos123

This week I spiraled. 

Not quite a full tailspin, but just enough to knock me off course. 

We watch our sweet L get sick often. We go to the pediatrician often. We consult with specialists often. This is our normal. 

This week I had enough.

This week, I was angry. 

This isn’t the normal I wanted. This isn’t the normal I expected. This isn’t the normal our 3 Os-lings deserve. 

Sometimes, being told that we need frequent flier points at the pediatrician is enough comic relief to make me smile, to lighten the load of another appointment. But this week, it was almost enough to break me. 

Sometimes, being told by medical professionals that our boy is a mystery to them can be taken as a compliment when I seem to understand him so well. But this week, it was daunting. 

It seems we can’t go a week without a food reaction, fever, illness, infection or random GI upset. Since September he has faced over 20 fevers, most without known causes. Plus a slew of airway issues including pneumonia, bronchiolitis, and recurrent croup. He’s had a handful of double ear infections. He’s had food fails that lead to weeks of diarrhea and blood in his stool. He’s been diagnosed with reactive airway disorder since he is too young for an asthma diagnosis. He’s had medical testing and countless blood draws. He’s had hospital trips, multiple rounds of antibiotics, steroids and nebulizer treatments. For the rare week when I am not making the trip to the pediatrician, he seems to make up for it with double appointments the following week. Although I am always relieved when a test comes back normal, when another issue is ruled out, I can never quite take a deep breath. I can never quite shake the feeling that some crucial piece of the puzzle is being missed and there is something more we can do. It just can’t be normal for one little boy to be sick this much; to have so many systems in his tiny body work against him. Can it?

This past week I struggled. I struggled to face the fact that our lives aren’t always what we pictured for ourselves. That we have added complications that those around us may not understand. I struggled to explain our boy’s medical needs, repeatedly. I struggled with comments made even if they were with the best intentions. I try to be grateful for others who don’t “get it”, this just means they haven’t had to live it. I try to be grateful for the opportunity to educate others, but it is exhausting to rehash it all like a broken record. This week though, despite the smile painted on my face, I was bitter.

I was not okay. 

I struggled to see the silver linings. I struggled to see the blessings. All I seemed to notice was how unfair this hand we’ve been dealt can seem. 

I know in my head that as time passes, he should improve. All of the doctors have told us this and the research is there to back it up. In my heart, I dream of the day when these concerns are behind us but dread his growing up at the same time. 

So this week I chose to take action. I choose to reach out to all of his medical professionals and see what else we can do. I choose to revel in little L’s sweet smile and big brown eyes. I choose to soak in his sense of humor and vibrant personality. 

I choose joy. 

In those moments when I feel robbed for losing these precious fleeting moments to anxiety and illnesses, I will choose to be grateful that we have him to hold and love. That we are lucky enough to have this precious boy as our son.

In those moments when I want to scream into my pillow and crawl into bed in defeat, I will choose to pick myself up, put on some music and have a dance party with our 3 crazy Os-lings. 

In those moments when I feel the pull of Google and the allure of a research spiral, we will head outside to play away from screens. 

Finding the silver lining is hard. It doesn’t come naturally. When you are forced to be the medical advocate for your child, you start to only see the medical issues. This week I am choosing to see beyond that. I am choosing to take our lives, our summer, our fleeting precious time back. 

Our little L is so much more than his complex diagnoses and it’s time that our life is too.