Tag: love

To the husband who does it all.

carinaos123

I see you. 

I see you struggling to get out of bed, exhausted from a night of being up scaring away monsters and making bottles as much as I was.

I see you getting up before the rest of us, quietly sneaking out in the dark and heading to work. 

I see you stopping at the store on your way home to save me a trip out of the house with all three kids. 

I see you racing home to help with after school extracurriculars. 

I see you coming home and changing out of your work clothes, but you aren’t done working. You trade your white-collar clothes for blue-collar clothes as you switch from a desk job to home renovations. 

I see you doing dishes, laundry, cooking, and parenting. 

I see you finally sitting down after the kids are wrestled into bed. 

I see you with your laptop, working on getting our businesses up and running, working on making our dreams come true. 

I see you up until midnight, always working on something, just to be up early and starting all over again. 

I may not always thank you. In fact, I KNOW I don’t thank you enough. You make sure we all have everything we could ever want and need. You make sure that medical bills and insurance companies are dealt with. You make sure we never have to sacrifice despite being a one-income household. You sacrifice so that I can be home savoring every moment with these beautiful little monsters who threaten to steal my sanity. 

You are the one who greases all of the gears to help our household run smoothly. 

You have proven what being a true partner means. We’ve been through a lot, and most recently that meant a very difficult pregnancy, postpartum depression, and now a medically complex child. Somehow, despite wearing so many different hats, you always manage to be my biggest supporter all while never missing a specialist appointment, parent teacher conference or school event.

You do all of the heavy lifting. 

I know you don’t ask for praise. You don’t want the recognition. This is just who you are. You will always put your family above all else. You will always put our happiness above your own. You are the embodiment of hard work, perseverance, determination, strength, and intelligence for our children. Pushing all three of them to be the very best versions of themselves and to find their passions, all while you lead by example. 

I’m often overwhelmed by the time you get home. Feeling like I spun my wheels all day. Home with three minions, but yet nothing seems accomplished. 

You walk in the door and you just get it. 

Somehow, the dishes piled in the sink that I haven’t gotten to?  They are done before bed. Thank you. 

The laundry I forgot to swap? You swapped it and started the next load. Thank you. 

The 5-year old I cannot get to sleep? She’s out cold peacefully. Thank you. 

The milk we ran out of? You ran back to the store so we would have it in time for breakfast. Thank you. 

Another diaper change? You changed it before I even noticed. Thank you. 

Baby needs another bottle and they are all dirty? You wash them all and make one before I have a chance to ask for help. Thank you. 

The trash that’s overflowing? It’s out at the curb for pick-up in the morning. Thank you. 

My list that’s pages long and feeding my anxiety? You completed tasks without me having to ask. Thank you. 

I know at the end of the day you may feel unseen, unappreciated, but I promise you’re not. Not just for the tasks you do, but for the person you are: the parent, the father, the friend, the partner. 

At the end of our crazy day, there is no one I would rather climb into bed next to, no one I would rather struggle through sleep deprivation with. I love you, and this journey of parenthood and marriage is made so much better because I am on it with you. 

Thank you.

Silver Linings

carinaos123

On this FPIES journey with our littlest Osling, the clouds can be overbearing and the silver linings scarce. Through the anxiety, analyzing, waiting, watching, documenting, traveling, prepping and planning so much is missed in day to day enjoyment.

We worry about L’s health but we also worry about our girls. Are they getting enough of us? Are they sacrificing too much because of his medical limitations? Are we missing out on moments with them, despite our best efforts, because of the all-consuming beast that is FPIES?

When we take a minute to slow down, to watch the sibling relationship that has developed since L was born, we realize how much empathy, compassion, awareness and understanding K and A have gained on this journey.

While we seek to raise awareness outside of our family, we are confronted with the harsh reality of ignorance from many. Ignorance of food allergies in general, lack of concern with learning and quite honestly, hostility surrounding changing their actions to keep others safe. While we see so much darkness in the world while dealing with our son’s condition, we are surrounded by so much light from our girls.

Who knew that at just 4 years old, A could successfully list all 13 trigger foods and all 14 safe foods L has, as well as what is on our list to trial next. Who knew that at 9 years old, K would know about cross-contamination, hidden ingredients and the danger of non-food items for L. With each diaper A asks, “is that a sick poop mom or a happy poop? Do you need your phone to take a picture for the doctor?”.

Although I wish that they didn’t have to worry about their brother’s health, I am so proud of their awareness and devotion to keeping him safe. I hope and pray that this commitment to their brother expands to others they meet throughout their lives.

That they learn about all sorts of differences, abilities, challenges, and strengths and seek to help others around them rise.

That they realize that equality and equity are different. Equity doesn’t mean that everyone gets the exact same thing, but instead that each person receives the assistance they need to create an even playing field.

That they internalize that different abilities does not mean less capabilities.

That they find ways to help others the way they help their brother.

That they are willing to make sacrifices to their convenience, for the safety and well being of others.

It’s true that FPIES has taken a lot from our family, but I choose to see all of the blessings it has opened our eyes to, all of the lessons we have learned. Those small changes our family has had to make in an effort to adapt to this new and confusing life, have set the stage for life lessons for our children. For that I am grateful.

Not being able to eat in the living room seems like a small inconvenience but it teaches them not to eat in situations where others suffer from allergies or to make substitutions in the food they chose. They are learning to make sacrifices now to help others. To empathize with those who already feel left out and have challenges to deal with themselves.

Celebrating new passed foods seems like small wins now, but that will translate to seeing each individual’s accomplishments and celebrating just as loudly for others as they do for themselves.

Keeping a watchful eye for crumbs that pose threats to their little L, will transform into looking out for others in their lives and an innate willingness to jump into action when needed.

Understanding that some foods are strictly for L and are not to be shared because his diet is so limited and frankly expensive, will eventually manifest as an understanding that giving help and necessary accommodations to those who need it is not favoritism. Instead, they recognize that having those foods for him is just as necessary as the cabinets filled with food for them. Keeping things “fair” means he gets specialized food and they celebrate that with us.

Recognizing that attention spent on their brother is not attention lost from them. As they grow this will reconfigure into seeing that their strength and ability is not lessened by helping others. Small sacrifices are in fact part of being strong and independent.

Making sacrifices when L is fighting through a reaction and having to adjust all previous plans, will become an understanding of invisible illnesses and disabilities. Understanding that sometimes, we have to adjust to support and be there for those who need us most.

I pray that these lessons follow them. That small seeds have been planted and will flourish over the years. I pray that we can continue to support our little L and become stronger as a family unit while recognizing every fleck of silver lining this journey has brought us. I pray that our daughters look back on this journey with appreciation for the early life lessons they have learned while recognizing that we always tried our hardest to give each of them what they needed. But most of all, I pray that this sibling bond, forged through years of bickering, and laughter, never falters and that they learn to help and rely on one another for the rest of their lives.

To learn more about FPIES and follow our little warrior’s story, check out his Facebook page Living La Vida Lucca: https://www.facebook.com/Living-La-Vida-Lucca-2369903016563479/?tn-str=k*F

Follow the Osling Chronicles on Instagram @osling_chronicles for all of our little Oslings’ latest adventures