Tag: tiny humans

Get Yourself A Mom Friend.

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Photo by Adrianna Calvo on Pexels.com

Do yourself a favor, get yourself a mom friend.

One who shows up in sweat pants and lets her kids run wild with yours.

Who disciplines and loves your child like her own.

Who you can freely vent and brag about your children to in a single breathe, and responds by telling you what amazingly special little jerks they are. 

Who listens with no judgment.

Who doesn’t show up expecting your house to be clean, but instead shows up with coffee in hand and daydreams about wine while your gremlins drive you both nuts. 

Who you can laugh as hard as you cry with. 

Who knows when you need coffee and when wine and chocolate is more appropriate. 

Who doesn’t knock, or even call, when she comes over. And who always raids your fridge when she gets there. 

Who you know is there, 24/7 no matter what; just a phone call away.

This week was draining. It was exhausting as we ended up at the pediatrician four different times and the ER once. I was spiraling; fighting not to get sucked back into the black hole of depression. I never said it, but she knew. 

We had these plans written in our calendars for weeks, both of us knowing that if we didn’t write a date in stone, that the plans wouldn’t happen. No cancellations, no excuses, no exceptions; no matter what, we had plans. Otherwise, life would get in the way, it always does when you’re a parent. When the day came, we attempted a lunch out with all five kids. HA. We quickly realized that a free for all play date was a much better option and our sanity thanked us!

I don’t know if she realized just how much I needed to just be. To just let the kids run and fight and play and laugh like siblings while we just chilled on the couch, scrolling through our phones and zone parenting the littlest two of our minions. 

I’m not sure if she knows how much not having to do anything, or be anything, means to me.

Sure getting the kids together can add stress from chaos, but getting them all together also brings me peace. There is no expectation for our time together.  When we are together, there is no my kids and your kids; all five of our tiny humans are OURS. 

We’ve learned that big day trips aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. That sometimes, instead of a $100 trip to the zoo, a movie night with pizza, junk food, PJs and lots of blankets on the floor is much more fun! 

We’ve learned that fights make us stronger. We can disagree on anything including parenting but we will always respect one another and we will always expect our crew of minions to show that same respect. Raising each other up instead of tearing each other down, no matter what. 

We’ve learned that each of our kids has unique needs. Be it allergies, medical issues, schedules, behavioral issues etc. and we find ways to cope with all of them at once. 

Her support through little L’s journey is just one example. She researches FPIES and works to keep him safe as much as I do. The amount of stress  that is lifted off of my shoulders when we are together is insane. 

We all need a village. 

Parenting is hard. 

Raising tiny humans is hard. 

Motherhood is hard. 

Get yourself a mom friend. 

Share with the mom friend you value in your life!

To the husband who does it all.

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I see you. 

I see you struggling to get out of bed, exhausted from a night of being up scaring away monsters and making bottles as much as I was.

I see you getting up before the rest of us, quietly sneaking out in the dark and heading to work. 

I see you stopping at the store on your way home to save me a trip out of the house with all three kids. 

I see you racing home to help with after school extracurriculars. 

I see you coming home and changing out of your work clothes, but you aren’t done working. You trade your white-collar clothes for blue-collar clothes as you switch from a desk job to home renovations. 

I see you doing dishes, laundry, cooking, and parenting. 

I see you finally sitting down after the kids are wrestled into bed. 

I see you with your laptop, working on getting our businesses up and running, working on making our dreams come true. 

I see you up until midnight, always working on something, just to be up early and starting all over again. 

I may not always thank you. In fact, I KNOW I don’t thank you enough. You make sure we all have everything we could ever want and need. You make sure that medical bills and insurance companies are dealt with. You make sure we never have to sacrifice despite being a one-income household. You sacrifice so that I can be home savoring every moment with these beautiful little monsters who threaten to steal my sanity. 

You are the one who greases all of the gears to help our household run smoothly. 

You have proven what being a true partner means. We’ve been through a lot, and most recently that meant a very difficult pregnancy, postpartum depression, and now a medically complex child. Somehow, despite wearing so many different hats, you always manage to be my biggest supporter all while never missing a specialist appointment, parent teacher conference or school event.

You do all of the heavy lifting. 

I know you don’t ask for praise. You don’t want the recognition. This is just who you are. You will always put your family above all else. You will always put our happiness above your own. You are the embodiment of hard work, perseverance, determination, strength, and intelligence for our children. Pushing all three of them to be the very best versions of themselves and to find their passions, all while you lead by example. 

I’m often overwhelmed by the time you get home. Feeling like I spun my wheels all day. Home with three minions, but yet nothing seems accomplished. 

You walk in the door and you just get it. 

Somehow, the dishes piled in the sink that I haven’t gotten to?  They are done before bed. Thank you. 

The laundry I forgot to swap? You swapped it and started the next load. Thank you. 

The 5-year old I cannot get to sleep? She’s out cold peacefully. Thank you. 

The milk we ran out of? You ran back to the store so we would have it in time for breakfast. Thank you. 

Another diaper change? You changed it before I even noticed. Thank you. 

Baby needs another bottle and they are all dirty? You wash them all and make one before I have a chance to ask for help. Thank you. 

The trash that’s overflowing? It’s out at the curb for pick-up in the morning. Thank you. 

My list that’s pages long and feeding my anxiety? You completed tasks without me having to ask. Thank you. 

I know at the end of the day you may feel unseen, unappreciated, but I promise you’re not. Not just for the tasks you do, but for the person you are: the parent, the father, the friend, the partner. 

At the end of our crazy day, there is no one I would rather climb into bed next to, no one I would rather struggle through sleep deprivation with. I love you, and this journey of parenthood and marriage is made so much better because I am on it with you. 

Thank you.

On your 5th birthday

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Oh, sweet girl!

Yesterday I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. Yesterday we welcomed you into this world. Yesterday I held you on my chest and nursed you for the first time. I sniffed your head and breathed in your sweet newborn smell as you curled yourself perfectly into my body. Yesterday I held you while you slept and watched as your fingers curled around mine. Yesterday I willed time to slow down just slightly, or at least, for me to always remember just how tiny and new you were. To never forget what it felt like to have your little body resting so peacefully on mine. 

Today, I wake up to a five-year-old and I wonder where the time went. I blinked, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, and the baby I awaited so anxiously has transformed into an incredible tiny human. No matter how much I sought to slow down time and savor every moment, the time has passed.

Sweet girl, on your fifth birthday, I can’t help but be amazed at all of the glorious changes that have taken place in your lifetime. 

You bring sunshine, love, and laughter wherever you go. Your laugh, sass and sense of humor light up the room. You draw people of all ages to you and have had that quality since the day you were born. You feel every emotion with such intensity. Although I believe part of that comes with your age, I am sure that it is also a part of you that runs so deep, it threatens to break you in two. You feel everything right to your core, and although I worry for you at times, I know that you will do incredible things. 

I know that you will stand up for those around you because you feel their pain with every fiber of your heart.

I know that you will seek justice because you feel the suffering of injustice with every ounce of your being.

I know that you will value yourself and your strength because you feel the power that emanates from every cell of your body.

I know that you will maintain your sense of humor and magic because you thrive in every way when you can bring a smile to others. 

I know that you will be true to yourself. 

I know that no matter what life brings you, you will be okay. I know that even if you stumble, you won’t fall. 

I can’t help but be struck by how much changes in the first five years of life. From a completely dependent newborn to a more independent, strong, intelligent, creative child.

SO. MANY. FIRSTS. 

As you prepare for kindergarten and diligently practice your numbers and letters, I can’t help but see that brand new baby I brought home from the hospital. That sweet tender newborn who’s troubles melted away as you laid on my chest. I only hope, that my arms can continue to bring you comfort as you grow. 

Although life’s struggles won’t always be able to be solved quite as easily, I will savor the moments when they can. When a hug makes the nerves dissipate and climbing into bed for cuddles makes the monsters go away. 

I don’t know when the last night will be when you want a bedtime story and song before bed. I don’t know when the last morning will be when I wake to your sleepy face on the pillow next to mine. I don’t know when the last day will be when you ask me to do an art project or have a dance party.  

But I do know it will come too soon. 

I know that no matter how much I will time to slow down, no matter how much I try to savor and remember every detail, time will pass. 

I know that I will blink, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment and when I open them you will be 10….then 20…then 30. 

Before I know it you will be off to college. Off on your own. Living your dreams. Marrying and having children if that’s what you want. 

So baby girl, on your 5th birthday, I want you to know just how incredible you are. 

Your strength. Your curiosity. Your determination. Your perseverance. Your intelligence. Your worth. Your creativity. 

You. 

Be true to yourself and you will never go wrong. 

We will always be in your corner and we will always love you. 

You will always be my sunshine.