On your 5th birthday

Oh, sweet girl!

Yesterday I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. Yesterday we welcomed you into this world. Yesterday I held you on my chest and nursed you for the first time. I sniffed your head and breathed in your sweet newborn smell as you curled yourself perfectly into my body. Yesterday I held you while you slept and watched as your fingers curled around mine. Yesterday I willed time to slow down just slightly, or at least, for me to always remember just how tiny and new you were. To never forget what it felt like to have your little body resting so peacefully on mine. 

Today, I wake up to a five-year-old and I wonder where the time went. I blinked, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, and the baby I awaited so anxiously has transformed into an incredible tiny human. No matter how much I sought to slow down time and savor every moment, the time has passed.

Sweet girl, on your fifth birthday, I can’t help but be amazed at all of the glorious changes that have taken place in your lifetime. 

You bring sunshine, love, and laughter wherever you go. Your laugh, sass and sense of humor light up the room. You draw people of all ages to you and have had that quality since the day you were born. You feel every emotion with such intensity. Although I believe part of that comes with your age, I am sure that it is also a part of you that runs so deep, it threatens to break you in two. You feel everything right to your core, and although I worry for you at times, I know that you will do incredible things. 

I know that you will stand up for those around you because you feel their pain with every fiber of your heart.

I know that you will seek justice because you feel the suffering of injustice with every ounce of your being.

I know that you will value yourself and your strength because you feel the power that emanates from every cell of your body.

I know that you will maintain your sense of humor and magic because you thrive in every way when you can bring a smile to others. 

I know that you will be true to yourself. 

I know that no matter what life brings you, you will be okay. I know that even if you stumble, you won’t fall. 

I can’t help but be struck by how much changes in the first five years of life. From a completely dependent newborn to a more independent, strong, intelligent, creative child.

SO. MANY. FIRSTS. 

As you prepare for kindergarten and diligently practice your numbers and letters, I can’t help but see that brand new baby I brought home from the hospital. That sweet tender newborn who’s troubles melted away as you laid on my chest. I only hope, that my arms can continue to bring you comfort as you grow. 

Although life’s struggles won’t always be able to be solved quite as easily, I will savor the moments when they can. When a hug makes the nerves dissipate and climbing into bed for cuddles makes the monsters go away. 

I don’t know when the last night will be when you want a bedtime story and song before bed. I don’t know when the last morning will be when I wake to your sleepy face on the pillow next to mine. I don’t know when the last day will be when you ask me to do an art project or have a dance party.  

But I do know it will come too soon. 

I know that no matter how much I will time to slow down, no matter how much I try to savor and remember every detail, time will pass. 

I know that I will blink, my eyes fluttering shut for just a moment and when I open them you will be 10….then 20…then 30. 

Before I know it you will be off to college. Off on your own. Living your dreams. Marrying and having children if that’s what you want. 

So baby girl, on your 5th birthday, I want you to know just how incredible you are. 

Your strength. Your curiosity. Your determination. Your perseverance. Your intelligence. Your worth. Your creativity. 

You. 

Be true to yourself and you will never go wrong. 

We will always be in your corner and we will always love you. 

You will always be my sunshine.